Iphone Update

David — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:35:08 +0000

I received my first cellphone bill since Ive had my iPhone…
It totaled: over $3000!!!
I was actually expecting that.
Three days after I received the phone, I noticed the ‘unlimited data plan’ had not been added to my account, and I had tallied up over 300MB (or 3million bits) of Internet use with my new phone. The going rate with AT&T’s pay per use data is $.01/KB (that’s 1000 bits). of course as soon as I noticed this my jaw dropped to the floor to say hello to the contents of my bowels, which are apperantly much faster than gravity.

I immediately went to bed, which was the only sensible thing to do.

The next morning after practicing a few sentances to make sure I could complete one without yelling like a Tourette’s patient on krack withdraw.
It actually took a couple of hours until I stopped interupting myself with out bursts like; ‘I’ll tell you where you can stick your data plan!’ or ‘your mother owes me $3000 for the earth quake she caused!’ and ‘your death at my hands will nausiate the Taliban!’

At this time I would like to take a little break to remind everyone that, though funny at times, violence is never the answer to life’s problems… Let’s read more and find out what happens.

The first phone call I made was polite, by more of my effort than the unfortunate operator who took my call. Apperantly there was nothing they could do but add the missing portion of my plan, and assure me that the rest of the charges would be cleared once my bill was totaled and posted to my account. It was according to them, not my fault for these overages as their policy is that all iPhone users must have the ‘unlimited data plan’. So I wasn’t to worried.
I still called back a couple of hours later and threatened to cancel my service, just to see if the story would change. It didn’t, there was apperantly nothing they could do to stop these charges from showing up on my bill.
So today I was ready for the sight of a $3000+ phone bill, but I still crapped my pants when I saw it. And imediately called up att to resolve the issue once and for all! I should have waited a couple minutes because I inadvertantly started the conversation with, ‘I’ll kill you!’ which was promply followed by a dial tone.
After a calm and relaxing recall, highlighted by some chit chat on the wonders of the iPhone, I still have a $3000+ phone bill, but they have reasured me, once again, that the charges would be removed.

I sure hope so because of I have to pay that much money… I won’t be able to afford any more krack!

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Iphone Update